Our Sustainably Designed Wedding

I saw a post on Apartment Therapy's ReNest, about purchasing "green" jewelry, specifically engagement rings, and realized that I had yet to blog about our "green" wedding. When I thought of starting a blog, I had a list of things to post about, and the wedding was one of those things. All I really wanted to do was list items we used/consumed/acquired which I believe to be elements of the concept, so that's what I'll do here.

Rings - First, the engagement ring. Michael stumbled upon this jeweler at the Renaissance Festival last Summer who uses conflict-free diamonds from Australia and recycled gold from estate jewelry. He proposed to me there, after I essentially 'chose' my ring. ...The wedding bands, we found at an antique store. Michael's is a lovely, narrow band of an Art Deco flavor (looks perfect on his hand), and mine a pretty little band with engraved flowers. Not only were our ring choices sustainable, they were far less expensive than the alternative.

Ceremony venue - The Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. The choice to do it there was mostly due to the fact that we wanted it to be outdoors and we wanted it to be significant. The significance of the Sculpture Garden is that it was a place where Michael had taken me during one of my visits to Minneapolis in the beginning of our relationship. Plus, it's just cool. We found a sculpture we both liked, and was perfect (we thought) for a wedding: The Prophesy of the Ancients, a sort of gazebo. We'd initially wanted everyone standing in the round anyway, so this was perfect. We had musicians for the ceremony - a couple who played mandolin and classic guitar. We opted to not have anything mic'd to save on stress and costs, etc.

Reception venue - Like the ceremony site, the reception site was in our neighborhood, to not only cut down on driving to and from, but also to support our community. The reception site was at an artist's gallery and studio space. The artist is Pam Sukhum, and her space is called Infinite Vision Studios. Beautiful art as the backdrop, it was a really lovely place to have the reception. We didn't want a traditional sit-down dinner type event, so we did mostly high top tables, but offered plenty of seating around the venue.

Reception catering - Local, organic and seasonal were the goals here, especially since the food at a reception demands the most resources. The food was so tasty, and so very Autumnal, with butternut squash soup and beet ravioli. All meats and cheeses, and most vegetables, were supplied locally. Chowgirls is the catering company, and they do a fantastic job of giving you a lot of wonderfully prepared food for the money - certainly classy, but no hoity toity minimalist stuff here! I'd recommend them for any event.

Reception drinks - Again, local, of course. We supplied beer, wine and champagne. All beer and wine was from Minnesota or Wisconsin (or was it just Minnesota..?). Wines from Minnesota leave a little to be desired, but they were quite good. The only thing we couldn't do local was the champagne, but the nice salesman at Surdyk's (Bill) helped us choose something we wouldn't feel too guilty about. I believe it was from California, so at least it was made here in the states.

Reception decorating - Candlelight was the intended light and ambiance, and we had plenty, but a friend who is a lighting designer offered to light the space for us, as our wedding gift. It was quite stunning, to say the least! Michael's aunt has assisted many a bride in her time, and came with beautiful tall glass vases, and her patina'd silver candle sticks. It was very eclectic, artsy and interesting. The end result was quite pretty. We were lucky to be graced with so many talented people, who willingly gave of their time and effort!

Flowers - The same aunt who assisted with the decorating also did the flowers. She used, almost entirely, flowers from her daughter's backyard 4 blocks from us, so it was local and seasonal. I couldn't have planned the bouquets and corsages any better if I had hand picked the flowers myself!

My attire - This was a bit of a challenge! I went at it simply enough - something used, already made, as that seemed the only way to do this sustainably, and within budget (I could have had one made by a local designer, but it would have been far too expensive, and no less sustainable). Maybe not even a wedding dress - I had decided that that would be more than alright with me. Michael's aunt (yes, the same one) offered to either make me a dress or alter one if I found one. To spare you the long story, lets just say it briefly: I found a used bridesmaid dress that had the perfect shape (but wasn't perfect), and with some lace I scored through craigslist, and aunt Shirley's magic hands, I had a unique, sustainably made (tailored, no less!) wedding dress. Shoes and other accessories were, of course, borrowed or purchased used.

The gals - Each of my girls wore black palazzo pants (flowy, skirt-like), and a velvet jacket in varied colors. I wanted the girls to wear things they either already had, or to purchase things they would wear again - for any special occasion, not just another wedding. And, doing separates, they're able to wear each piece again and again, together or separately. I think they all looked stunning.

My groom's attire - Neither of us ever imagined him in a tux for our wedding, and we happened to come across a beautiful jacket one day. When he tried it on (it fit him like a glove), we knew it was the jacket he would wear for the wedding. Anything but sustainable, and certainly not inexpensive, we purchased anyway. We figure he'll get many, many years of use out of it, so it balances out...right? Well, his attire may have been the least sustainable part of the entire wedding. But he ended up with some really nice clothes that he will wear again...as long as his tummy doesn't get any bigger. We did, however, pick up his shoes at a consignment shop:)

The guys - Like the girls, we were going for things the guys hopefully already had hanging in their closets. They were all able to find black slacks and jackets (a couple of guys had to purchase..but, black slacks and jackets are must-haves in any guy's closet!), and then a few just had to purchase the collared shirts in varying colors (to coordinate with the gals). They all looked pretty spiffy!

Rehearsal dinner - Michael and I made sandwiches from local foods and wrapped them in brown wax paper. Along with some chips and some of our favorite non-alcoholic drinks (Reed's real ginger ale, for example) in bottles, we had a 'picnic' - albeit, a cold picnic - at the park near our ceremony and reception sites. After rehearsal, we all went to a bar in the same building where our reception would be held, and had drinks and warm conversation. It was a really nice time, actually. And stress free (with exception of the time leading up to it - decorating the reception site!).

Gift registry - We really thought about what items we "needed" (and, need did not mean, 'how many things do we want to replace with shiny new ones?'), and registered at Gaiam online for those few items. This way, folks could ship directly, and we didn't have to worry about all the gift wrap waste. We also registered for folks to make donations to a couple of charities. We did both of these things through the I Do Foundation. For those who didn't want to, or couldn't, do either of these things, we made a list (on our website) of local establishments we frequent and to which gift cards would be more than welcome. (it was especially nice to go out for sushi(oops) when we came home from our honeymoon!)

Honeymoon - Family cabin in North Dakota. Yep, North Dakota! Doesn't sound like your typical honeymoon, as it isn't an exciting tropical destination or something of the like. But it was the perfect way to bring in our new life together! It was 5 days of togetherness, connection, and...quiet! We stocked up on foods and drinks we really love, and headed out. Out in the middle of nowhere, it was the perfect time of year, because nobody else was at the lake. The sky at night had absolutely no light pollution, so the stars literally sparkled; the sunsets were amazing with their fiery oranges and pinks; and the quiet was truly unexplainable. Pure bliss, especially for these nature-bound city dwellers:)

Photography- Friends. We "hired" friends to take pictures. Since we wanted more candid type photos than portraits, we thought we'd ask a few friends who are good with a camera. It worked out nicely. We got some wonderful "real" shots, and they just compiled all of their stuff onto disks for us. This probably fits more into the "cost saving" category than sustainability, but it did end up being a sustainable element of the wedding, so I figured I would include it.

Favors - None. This was, in the beginning, a source of confusion and contention. All along, we had thought about canning something special, like jams or chutneys, since we are avid food preservers as of late. We wanted to give something that everyone knew was a part of our life together (canning), and something people could use (and reuse - the jar). Alas, after figuring out the cost of small jelly jars and the waste that cute little labels would generate, we decided to forgo favors all together. After we made the choice, we had a sort of revelation (well, I should say Michael did) - that no one would ever notice if they didn't get a favor! Besides, when was the last time you went to a wedding and walked away with something other than a plastic bottle of bubbles and little candies tied up in tulle? In the end, we realized how much less stressful the wedding was because of choices like this. And, really, this is just one of the many things that contributes to the waste that is a typical wedding.

Attendants' gifts - Michael opted out of this, since he couldn't think of anything sensible and meaningful. He figured, 'why get anything at all, if it isn't something they'll each like and get use out of?'. Again, like the favors (if you've ever been in a wedding), can you recall getting something really all that significant as a gift? (How many times are you going to use a cheap flask made in China that will probably just rust or fall apart first?) I, on the other hand, found some wonderful soaps made locally, and wrapped them in vintage handkerchiefs. I use handkerchiefs myself, and what a perfect time to nudge others in that direction than at a wedding, right? (A couple of them did, in fact, use them during the ceremony!) I was sure to choose the soap for each attendant (and mom) personally; as I smelled them, I would think of who that scent reminded me of. Everyone loved them!

So, that was our wedding! It was a really lovely event, and more or less stress free. Michael and I went into the planning with sustainability in mind, not because it's the trendy thing to do right now, but because it reflects our life. The choices we make in our everyday life, we really make a concerted effort to make consciously..thinking about where it came from, what the impact is of supporting the product and its supplier(s), and where it will go (packaging and all) when we're through with it. It's just the life and habits we've adopted. A wedding is no different. There are many ways to be sustainable, or "green". We believe it starts as simply as buying local, and limiting consumption to what you absolutely need (and, if you want it, you consciously want it and can afford it).

As a side note, check out the Star Tribune article, "Saying I Do in Shades of Green" for which Michael was interviewed (ignore how ridiculous I look and the fact that they spelled my maiden name with an 'H' under the picture). It's an article about the wedding, and how "green" we were planning it to be. It may be about 'our' wedding, but I'm crediting Michael, because he really said all the right stuff and gave them some good information. I was, and continue to be, so proud of him!

I hope this was helpful!

Thoughts on Glamour

I was inspired by a blog I read the other day. One of my favorite bloggers, sfgirlbybay, posted on a topic I've thought about more often than I can say. That is, the topic of glamour, and - more specifically - the glamour of days gone by.

I'm such a romantic, and I love different eras for different reasons, but what I find most romantic about all of them is their glamour. I absolutely love watching 'period' movies. To escape into a time different than our own is fascinating...the style, the mannerisms, the social etiquette, the way people interacted with one another...it's all just so enchanting to me. I've been wanting to do this more and more lately - get lost in period movies. This is certainly a time - the time we're in now- that seems to lack the glamour of yesterday...or, dare I say glamour at all.
One era I really love getting lost in is 40's/50's. Before it got all "rock & roll" and poodle skirts (don't get me wrong, that's an era worth its weight, just not as glamorous to me), style was just so...classic(?). It's difficult to put it into a word, because "classic" isn't descriptive enough, though it is how I see it from the viewpoint of 2009. Anything made today that is worth having, is designed "classically", in my opinion. And, a lot of its influence is from this era.


The clothes were earthy in color, texture and pattern, yet refined and tailored. Women were homemakers of an extra-terrestrial dimension. Today we covet the furniture made then, for good reason. People got dolled up for card games at friends' houses, or to head down town to the Elk's Club. Saturday night was certainly a night to look forward to. Guys put effort into their wardrobe, their hair, their shaving techniques...everyday, and weren't called "effeminate" for it - that's just what it was to be a guy. And, the music - don't get me started on the music! It oozed romance and sensuality. Oh, and smoking was cool.
So, I've decided that, upon reading that blog, and watching some of my favorite movies this weekend (Chocolat, Mona Lisa Smile, Swing Kids, to name a few), that I need some of this in my life. Yes, need. Don't get me wrong..I'm not planning to sleep in a twin bed while my husband sleeps in another, and I don't know the first thing about putting hot rollers in my hair, but it seems that adding a little glamour from this era (or any other), would add an element to my life that I feel is missing. If there's anything to "past lives", I feel I probably lived there, in the 40's and 50's, and today I'm depriving myself of a time I really loved living in. Either way, it will be fun! And, with the Winter doldrums moving in, it seems the perfect time to start.

Fortunately, I have at least one partner in crime, my husband. Probably the most important, when it comes to having an appreciation of this sort, and incorporating it into our life. He decided, just months before our wedding, that he wanted to start shaving with a safety razor, like this one:

So, as a wedding gift, I found him one, and he's been using it ever since. He loves it! He has said that using something like this is just one small way he can incorporate the classic elements of that era, and that using it feels more "manly" - as in, the ways of men of another time, like Clark Gable and Cary Grant. During our wedding preparations, we also stumbled upon a wonderful little shop over in St. Paul that harkens back to a time when men put this kind of thought and effort into their appearance. Heimie's Haberdashery is a one stop shop for suits, hats, ties and everything in between, as well an old time barbershop, where they do everything from haircuts to traditional shaves to shoe shining. It's quite inspiring.

I need to visit some vintage shops too. Not that I want to dress in vintage clothing everyday, but it would nice to incorporate some fun pieces into my wardrobe. There's a shop on Hennepin, right here in our neighborhood, that I should visit more often (even if the girls who work there seem to look down on anyone entering the store who isn't clearly "vintage" inspired): Via's Vintage. Unfortunately they don't have a website; the link is to the Citysearch page with description and address.

Of course, all of this talk of a time that was classic and romantic, brings to mind the elements that weren't necessarily great. Every era and generation has its downsides. We've moved ahead to a great degree, in that women are no longer expected to stay home and learn how best to serve their husbands. We don't attend preparatory schools just waiting to find a husband and get married off and "taken care of". We have a say in our lives that women of that age did not. And, there was a time in my life when I laughed, arrogantly, at that era, and at the women who were "suckered" into that life. Now I have a different point of view, not only because I'm older and wiser and life has taught me that "I don't know it all", but also I think because I'm planning to (hopefully) soon become a mom. There are a lot of elements of a time when "mom stayed home" that were good, that I think our society is missing out on. But, to say that I'd rather stay home and care for my family and keep a beautiful home, today, seems almost anti-feminist or backward thinking. Nonetheless, we do live in a time when we have the option to do that, or work outside the home and have careers of our own - whichever we choose. This is, of course, leading into an entirely different topic, one that probably demands its own blog. Another topic from this one is the idea that our lives are "better" because of modern conveniences (are they?)...but I'll steer back to the subject at hand.

To finish, I just want to add that this is something that is going to be fun as well as interesting, the addition of glamour into my life. I am, by nature, a bohemian/artsy/organic type, but I also have a need for clean, uncluttered elements in my life, such as my home, my appearance, etc. I feel like two different people most days, and it can be daunting to find the balance. But, finding balance, in my opinion, is life's great challenge after all!

Feeling inspired, but wanting yet more to chew on, I think I'll go and watch Mona Lisa Smile again....